Retro Video Games Corner: Mission: Impossible

· Dominic Aveiro

After applying to University and everyone asking me ‘Dominic what are you going to do?’ I’ve been responding ‘well, hopefully Policing and Security.’ A lot of people have come to the conclusion that I want to be some sort of police officer or a secret agent. This has inspired me to revisit two games that explore the same themes but underneath the superficial image, they are two very different games. The first game which I will revisit this week lives up to its name.

‘Prepare to enter into the most demanding and dangerous Mission: Impossible ever. Your mission, should you decide to accept it, will be to guide your team through a spectacular series of authorized worldwide missions’.  Raising my eyebrow and slightly shaking my head at the lie that the blurb on the back of the box presents, my mind tries to manipulate itself into believing it. Mission: Impossible may have been released in 1998, but it is no excuse for the shoddy game that we are expected to enjoy. To be honest, this game was developed by ‘Ocean Software‘, a games development company whose greatest gaming achievements were in the form of terrible games which were meant to accompany movies. However, I have a soft spot for Mission: Impossible - beneath the almost unplayable controls, barbaric graphics and unimaginative sounds, there is a concept. This concept is very exciting and if you are prepared to take on the impossible mission of overlooking the faults that the game presents, you are left with something which you can ALMOST respect.

--- This review will self destruct in 10 seconds ---

Retro Video Games Corner: A Bug’s Life

Retro Video Games Corner:  A Bug’s Life

 · Dominic Aveiro

I hate this game. ‘Hate’, is a term thrown about very loosely nowadays but this monstrosity absolutely deserves it. This is actually the first game that made me question the existence of God, prompting me to lift my head to the heavens and cry out, “Why don’t you love me?!” As I take a gulp, with a tear running down my cheek, I lift up my PlayStation One controller and realise it’s time to revisit ‘A Bug’s Life’.

 

Do not be fooled by Disney’s colourful, kid-friendly image. They may produce films that cause your heart to melt like butter in a microwave, but they also make  video games. This is where I draw the line with this seemingly cuddly organisation. Granted, there are some good Disney games, but ‘A Bug’s Life’ is not one of them. As soon as the game begins, you are intoxicated with mediocre graphics, terrible music and gameplay that makes you want to pull your own hair out. I know I’m supposed to help this ant colony collect food so they aren’t crushed by deadly grasshoppers, but I find myself doing everything incorrectly so that they are all horrendously murdered.

Karma hurts, eh Disney? 

Retro Video Games Corner: F-ZERO X

 

Retro Video Games Corner: F-ZERO X

 · Dominic Aveiro

As so many of you are taking driving lessons at the moment, I thought it would be fitting to revisit a racing game - one which drove me insane as a child.

Released in 1998 but set in the 22^nd century, the adrenaline inducing, concussion producing, F-ZERO X made for the Nintendo 64 made its way onto our shelves. As a child, I only used to play it at my God brother’s house as I didn’t own the console at the time, but now I have got my hands on one. I picked this game up off Amazon for £3, fully boxed and in perfect condition - any collectors’ dream. In F-Zero X you choose from a selection of 30 genetically enhanced super pilots as you race through courses that are a weird mixture of rollercoaster and epileptic seizure, in your plasma-powered hovercar. The aim of the game is to reach the finishing line first. Yet the problem is, you find yourself very often confronting death and that’s when the aim changes, with the sole purpose to stay alive! F-Zero X has stood the test of time - you’ll find yourself bobbin’ your head to the retro music and sounds. Just the simple addition of Captain Falcon makes this game awesome. I recommend wearing a skiing jacket and ear muffs when you play. You’ll need them, as the future is a very, very cold place indeed.

Cool as a cucumber, Nintendo delivers an intense driving experience.

Retro Video Games Corner: World Cup '98

· By Dominic Aveiro

With the fading sirens of the World Cup going off into the dark abyss of several football fan’s minds and FIFA 11’s release still fresh in the air, I revisit what I consider the Grandfather of football games.

It was 1998, a massive blue and red cock waved the flag for France, World Cup 98 had begun and fancy that, a video game also came out of it, eh? All the legendary players are there and true to what they’ve always pioneered, EA have kept the authenticity of the actual tournament, teams, groups and stadiums. The gameplay is simply horrendous and I find the squares that were supposedly players an insult to my idols of the football world -- However in 1998, who cared? It didn’t matter what age you were, you would shout at the television, you would curse at a ref’s decision, this game made football accessible on a completely different level. I have spent many rainy evenings watching a game where I haven’t selected a side and just let my imagination run free wondering what it would have been like if Luis Figo had lifted the World Cup.